It’s understandable that we focus on mums in the postnatal period, but let’s not forget the dads and co-parents who also need support.
Whether it’s sleep deprivation, money worries, new responsibilities, or the relationship dynamic shifting, dads also have a lot to take on board. This is a huge life change for both parents. On top of this, dads and co-parents might feel guilty about what their partner is going through, knowing they aren’t the ones breastfeeding at 3am or healing from labour and birth.
Here’s what you need to know about postnatal depression in partners. (Most of the research has been conducted in fathers to date, so while we often refer to dads below, we know it can apply to all types of partners).
The number of men who become depressed in the first year after becoming a dad is double that of the general population. Twenty five percent of dads experience mild depressive symptoms and around 10% to 12% have a diagnosis of depression.
First time dads are particularly vulnerable. One in ten dads-to-be will also become depressed during their partner’s pregnancy.
If you have concerns about your own or your partner’s mental health, seek help from your GP who can help you to access support services.
The peak time for postnatal depression in men is three to six months after the birth.
As with postnatal depression in mums, it often goes undiagnosed. The symptoms can look a lot like the everyday stresses of having a newborn.
Just as with mums, changes in hormones might make postnatal depression in dads more likely.
Hormones including testosterone, oestrogen, cortisol, vasopressin, and prolactin may change in dads during the period after their babies arrive.
If one of you is experiencing emotional or mental health difficulties, it’s more likely that the other is as well. Of fathers with depressed partners, a quarter to a half experience depression themselves.
Dads who are under 25 are more likely to go through postnatal depression than their older counterparts.
Yet age isn’t the only risk factor for postnatal depression in men. Other major risk factors include a history of depression and anxiety; financial pressures; and no longer being in a relationship with the child’s mother.
Other factors that make postnatal depression in men more likely include: sleeping or crying issues with the baby; drug abuse or dependence; and feeling unsupported by their partners.
However, the relationship between these factors is unclear so they might not necessarily be the direct cause of mental health difficulties.
If one of you is experiencing emotional or mental health difficulties, it’s more likely that the other is too.
Symptoms can include:
Postnatal depression in dads can affect their relationship with the baby’s mother. It can also affect the relationship they have with their child. They may play and engage less with their baby and talk more negatively about and to them. They may sing and read less to their them, and may discipline them more harshly.
Dads’ depression is associated with emotional, social and behavioural problems as well as developmental delay in their children.
The association is stronger when a father experiences antenatal as well as postnatal depression, and when his symptoms are particularly severe. There is also a stronger association when mum also has mental health problems.
You might associate screening more with physical illnesses but mental health diagnoses are catching up. Men who are concerned about their mental health can use this NHS screening tool. Alternatively, if you’re concerned, see your GP or call NHS 111.
The treatment of paternal postnatal depression is in its early stages. Currently, the options for treatment are the same as for mothers with psychotropic medication and/or talking therapies.
Relationship counselling may also be useful.
Most, importantly share how you’re feeling. You’re not alone and support is available.
At our AGM, we heard from Luke, a volunteer for our Parents in Mind project (see details below) who had faced his own mental health challenges after his baby was born 15 weeks premature.
He said: “My partner suffered with her mental health more than I did in those days (while their son was in hospital). I was running on a combination of junk food, tea, and too many cigarettes, and my focus was on my family, not myself.
“When my son came home, my mental health started to deteriorate. I was back to working full time, I was working with some very vulnerable young people, and I found the pressure of being away from my family, looking after someone else’s child difficult to manage. Through Silver Birch charity, I was put in touch with Parents In Mind.”
The other dads in that group really helped me from the start.
After being connected with Parents in Mind, his mental health started to improve. “The other dads in that group really helped me from the start.
“They became a group of men that I could call at any time, cry to, or just chat about my day. They became a lifeline, and really helped me get back on my feet. When I was invited to volunteer for them, I jumped at the chance.”
The experience Luke gained volunteering for Parents in Mind helped him find a role with another charity, and from January he will start working for them as a Dad’s Coordinator, using the knowledge he’s gained to help other dads. He’ll still continue to volunteer for Parents in Mind.
We run Partners in Mind, a peer-to-peer support group for dads and partners in the North West, and with more groups soon to come in Newham and East Sussex. There are lots of videos and online resources to help you manage your mental health, as well as groups so you can meet and talk to other dads. Take a look at their information page, email parentsinmindnw@nct.org.uk or follow them on Instagram @nctparentsinmindpartners and on Facebook @NCT Parents in Mind.
Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby: 0300 330 0700 (option 1). We also offer antenatal courses that are a great way for both parents to find out more about birth, labour and life with a new baby.
For information and support, visit Fathers Reaching Out run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer.
The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is leading a movement against male suicide, the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK.
The Hub of Hope is a national mental health database, bringing help and support together in one place, with a focus on grassroots organisation.
ANDYSMANCLUB is a non judgmental, talking group for men.
DadsNet offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.
