Graham Baring tells us about the strong bond he’s forged with the dads in his NCT group and why, together, they decided to undertake an amazing and arduous 26-mile charity sailing challenge off the coast of Plymouth.
I’m 37 years old and a Petty Officer in the Royal Navy. My wife Zoë and I had our first child Georgia in October 2016.
Zoë signed up for the NCT Signature course to help us prepare for the birth of our first child.
I was away on a nine-month deployment in the lead up to the birth of Georgia and really valued the information, handouts and support that Zoë received from the class leader and other couples in the group.
I was late to the party as I was away during our course.
However the couples in the group formed a WhatsApp group about half way through, so I was able to keep up and get to know people before I returned to the UK.
The group booked several activities such as walks and gatherings at each other’s houses with the babies.
I was able to meet, bond and develop friendships within the group that complemented the friendships the mums had developed.
Speaking to other dads in the same or similar circumstances means you can gain or give each other advice or guidance.
Some of the dads had never set foot on a yacht, so to undertake a 26-nautical mile race is not an easy challenge
It was during a boys’ curry night with the other NCT dads that we discussed an activity to raise money for the local Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) that had been so greatly valued by three of the eight dads in the group.
I suggested The Eddystone Pursuit on Saturday 17th June and using my yacht Tor Renown.
The Eddystone Pursuit takes place every year and is the South West’s biggest charity sailing event. The other dads (Nick, Mat, Lars, Steve, James, Tim and Clive) seemed on board and plans began!
The race starts in Plymouth, the yachts then navigate the Eddystone Reef and sail around the world-famous Eddystone Lighthouse, before making their way back to Plymouth.
We made an excellent start to the pursuit and were first over the line.
We knew before the challenge that once offshore the weather can change very quickly and that the swell and wind can be wild.
The wind conditions were not in anyone’s favour and after an 8am start our team decided to retire at 2pm following the lead of many boats taking part.
We are going to complete the challenge on a more favourable wind day this month as we do not want to disappoint any of our sponsors.
The NICU at Derriford Hospital cares for babies born from around the South West who have either been born prematurely or with other life threatening illnesses.
In 2014 alone, the ward cared for 1,209 babies and their families.
We decided to support the “Keep me Close” campaign aimed at raising £2 million to provide better accommodation for the parents of babies on the ward and a greater number of rooms.
These parents are dealing with an incredibly difficult time and creating a “home from home” environment would really help to take away a small amount of this stress.
Currently the NICU is only able to house four sets of parents. The rooms share one toilet, one shower and a microwave for cooking.
The aim is to provide en-suite bedrooms, fully functioning kitchens and washing machines.
Three of the babies in our group received support from NICU and thankfully they’re happy and healthy.
Raising money to support other families seemed an appropriate way to say thank you to the hospital and staff for all their hard work and dedication.
Building friendships with dads who are in the same situation has been an invaluable support network.
We’re experiencing the same and different challenges with a newborn baby and we’re all from different backgrounds and occupations but we’re able to help each other.
And, most importantly, it’s a new friendship group to share memories and milestones with as we all experience the new journey of parenthood.
You have a valuable outlet to discuss the changes in relationships, the challenges and the rewards.
We’ve been really lucky to have such a great group of dads.
Enjoy every moment both before and after. Your life will change forever, but you will never have experienced a love like it. And be prepared to be tired!
The Eddystone Eight have raised 94% of their £1,500 target and it’s not too late for people to donate. They’re very grateful for your support and it’s for a fantastic cause.
