Your experiences: my motherhood library

NCT Matters editor, Sanjima DeZoysa, reflects on her parenting journey and why we all might need a ‘mum on board’ badge some days…

With Mother’s Day around the corner, I get a little reflective (it’s the Pisces in me) and think back over my parenting journey so far.

Welcome to the MotherHood

My son's artistic impression of me

My memories are catalogued like well-thumbed books at the library; I’ve got an A to Z of my highs and lows. Even when my kids reach adulthood, I know some moments will never grow dust in my mental archive.

Finding out we were pregnant, giving birth, bringing them home and then all the milestones along the way – first smiles, words, steps, tastes, tantrums…

And it never fails to amaze me how the same two little beings can make my heart burst with love and then so annoyed I could explode with frustration. But that’s the MotherHood.

It’s a weird and wonderful place where you get lost, fall down, pick yourself up, find your way, cry, laugh, get lost, fall down, pick yourself up, find your way, cry, laugh. Repeat. Forever.

Mum on board

I wish there was a ‘Mum on Board’ badge because isn’t it exhausting at times? I’m tempted to tell people on my train to work about the preceding hour – getting kids up and dressed, shouting, remembering what stuff we all need that day, shouting, hurrying – and that I really need to sit down. But who knows what they’ve been through that morning, so I stand politely like any other sardine commuter.

My love library

That’s when the love library in my head saves me. When I’m tired, stressed or upset. When I think I am the worst parent ever, I find a special edition memory I can re-play and feel better. The times when I won the battle and managed to cajole my kids out of a meltdown.

The moments they’ve made me feel proud with their sibling kindness and affection. The laughter and tears I’ve shared with other mums over a bottle of wine on a night out.

New chapters to come

I can laugh, smile and cry simultaneously at most of my memories. In the same way, my parenting journey cuts across genres.

Motherhood is a tale of epic proportions

It’s a love story, comedy and horror; it’s about health, relationships, history, psychology, self-help, science and travel. Motherhood is a tale of epic proportions.

And that’s what I’ll celebrate this Mother’s Day, as I re-play some of my faves from the library and create new chapters for the catalogue.

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